He says he’s not ready to go yet, but I am so tired. I didn’t think he would come back here tonight. I thought he would drop me at the bus stop as he usually does.
I can hear creek of the second step on the stairs. He’s coming …
‘There now, no need to be shy, come over here, let me look at you in the light’
I don’t move, he comes to me and strokes my cheek with his rough fingers. Now my jaw is cupped in his firm hand and the pressure from his thumb is forcing my face to look at him. His eyes are glazed and cold.
‘Fair’s fair eh, one good turn deserves another. A little gratitude wouldn’t go amiss here. Don’t stiffen your body like that. Relax! Anyone would think this is unnatural. It’s the most natural thing in the world. Now, let’s get this jumper off you eh, I want to see your tits. Come on, over your head, there’s a girl, and the bra too. Nice bit of lace but, there that’s better isn’t it.’
He is squeezing my breast, tight, it hurts. I call out ‘Don’t, please don’t. You’re hurting me.’
He is holding his hand over my mouth and whispering me to hush. The pressure of his body forces me to twist sharply onto the floor and I feel my head bang against the side of the coffee table. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed, my cheeks merge with my forehead and his hand pulls them back, denying my eyes a chance of escape.
‘Look at me, bitch’ he demands. I refuse and feel the rough skin of his fingers slice into my cheek at the force of his slap.
I open my eyes, but can only see a bald circle below my face. He is biting my nipple, I want to scream but his face is back up on mine and he is biting my ear, my nose, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I gag. I can’t breathe.
His uncontrolled hand pushes me sideways and I hear the zip of my jeans rip apart as he tugs them down over my thighs. I feel a sticky trickle on my cheek and taste blood dripping into my mouth from the cut on my head.
‘Don’t just lay there, have a suck on daddys lollipop, sweetie. Tastes good, come on, open. I said open up. Jesus woman, you are making hard work of this. What’s the matter, fucking frigid are you. Well we’ll soon sort that out.’
He slides down my body and tears off my pants. I stare at the light bulb above my head, my mind dives into the white sea and swims away from me.
I will have to come back, my children are sleeping upstairs.
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1 comment:
brilliant, powerfull, sureal.it took me to a time and place i had long since tried to forget.for the first time ever i felt like i was not alone , not the only one.my life story similar to this although shared the pain,hurt ,anger with my family it never quite went away,still here everyday.This piece moved me so much...although powerfull and strong i think theyre should be alot more like this..gritty to the point . so nice to see someone calling it how it is rather than trying to sugar coat it how most others do .very refreshing cant wait to read more of your work. thank you xx
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